Falling in Love
Really – it has been too long. Seasons have passed. Children have grown. Races have been DONE! Perhaps I should have posted when I crossed the finish line … or after I had my first beer. No, I didn’t. I can only say that I felt a sense of pride that I don’t remember having for a VERY long time. Maybe when I tied my shoe for the first time and showed my mom?
I trained so very hard. Why? What motivated me to wake up 5 to 6 days a week and run in the dark, cold New England air … or trudge to a gym class? The simple answer is that I needed to beat my beloved LSP. The love of my life needed to go down in flames. (If you recall, he drew the line in the sand by saying I could never beat him at this particular road race.) The odd thing is, in the initial phases of dragging myself to the training sessions, I must admit, it was to see the look on his face when I returned home. He had not waken yet, and was oddly confused by my reappearance (when you are still dreaming and stirred, that is what happens.) Now – lest you think I’m knocking him – I’m not. I would have been the same. Wondering what insanity had overcome my once seemingly normal spouse. Insanity isn’t even the fitting word. I am a woman obsessed. For the love of god – I ran while I was on vacation.
But, somewhere, on one of the hills I was forced to run, something must have clicked over. Some bizarre change in attitude occurred. I was running because I loved it, love it, and am loving it. Do you remember the last time you did something you truly loved? I mean, something just for you? Set aside the amazing life moments that you have had … marriage, children, vacations, etc. The love of doing something just because you love doing it. (Drinking beer and wine doesn’t count …) It beckons how I used to feel as a little girl when I could play in my room for hours at my Barbie Dream House. There were soooo many possibilities for what could happen that day at Barbie’s house!
There is a flurry of thoughts I have when coming to terms with what all this has meant. I can’t define and pinpoint why I love it so much. There is the health benefit (duh) … knowing I can run away when being chased by vampires, as seen in the Twilight series (seriously, they exist you know) … accomplishing something no matter what the day brings (the day can go to hell, and I can tilt my head back and think “well, this stinks, but I ran 4 miles today”). Most importantly, when there are information sheets to fill out about me, where it says INTERESTS and ACTIVITIES , I can put something besides making lunch and snack for my children, sleeping, reading, working, and in general, trying to manage my life (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) I have recaptured myself. It is something I highly recommend.
In summary, I am falling in love. And, it helps when you kick your LSP’s butt by 30 seconds.
